You know the question. It’s the one in the back of your mind that you have not said out loud to many people… maybe not to anyone.
Is God calling me to be a priest?
When that questions pops up, you push it away but it always comes back. You wonder if men who are called just know or have it all figured out, and you’re confused why you can’t seem to get there on your own. And if you’re honest, carrying that question by yourself can feel lonely.
But here’s the truth: the struggle that you’re feeling doesn’t mean the answer is no. You were never meant to figure out a call to the priesthood by yourself.
The disciples were full of questions and exhausted from what they had seen when they came back from their first missionary journey. Jesus did not tell them to figure things out on their own. He said: “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” (Mark 6:31).
Before the major turning points of His ministry, Jesus withdraws to pray.
- Before He chooses the Twelve, He spends the night alone on a mountain (Luke 6:12).
- Before asking His disciples “Who do you say that I am?”, He is praying in solitude (Luke 9:18).
- Before the Transfiguration, He takes three men up a mountain to pray (Luke 9:28).
- Before carrying the cross, He goes to Gethsemane, face to the ground, and says the words that make it possible to go forward: “not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:36, 39).
Every calling starts in prayer, alone with the Father, away from the distractions. Not alone as in isolation, but alone with God, and alongside others who are seeking Him too. The question of whether God is calling you to the priesthood is not one that you figure out by yourself. It is a question you bring to the Father in a place set apart, with time and space to listen. This is important for a man who is wondering whether God is calling him to the priesthood, because that is exactly where Jesus meets you.
I was a college student at Drexel University, attending classes and on the rowing team but I was wondering the same question and hoping to figure out what God was asking of me by myself. It wasn’t until I reached out that I was able to answer that question.
Here are the three steps I took to answer that question:
Step 1: Stop pushing the question aside
For me, this meant saying it out loud for the first time. I didn’t tell anyone else yet, just to myself, and then to God. I had been carrying the question around like something I was embarrassed by and something I needed to figure out before I told anyone. But the question never went away when I ignored it. The first step was the simplest and the hardest: I stopped pretending it was not there.
Step 2: Register for a Discernment Retreat
I thought a retreat was for guys who already had it figured out, and I was still in the middle of rowing practice and midterms trying to decide if this was happening to me. I did not feel ready and I was not sure I belonged there, but I registered anyway.
Step 3: Attend and listen.
I showed up, nervous and shy, not knowing what was going to happen. I did not arrive with certainty, confidence, or having everything figured out, but I was willing to sit with God long enough to listen. The retreat gave me that I could not give myself: the time, the community, and the opportunity to stop talking long enough to listen.
The Office of Vocations is hosting a young adult (ages 18-39) men’s retreat on April 24th and 25th at the Franciscan Hospitality Center in Cherry Hill, so you don’t have to figure this out alone anymore.
Who You Could Be on April 26
Right now, you are a young man carrying this question alone, trying to answer it in your head and pushing it away when it gets uncomfortable. After this retreat, you will be a man who finally sat down with God long enough to hear to begin to answer. A man who stopped carrying the question alone.
If you’re a young man (18–39) wondering if God might be calling you, or trying to talk with someone about this question you haven’t told anyone else, you don’t have to figure this out alone.
Father Stephen Robbins
Latest posts by Father Stephen Robbins (see all)
- Have You Been Trying To Answer This Question By Yourself? - April 14, 2026
- The Priestly Life: An Extension of the Mass - November 16, 2021
- Diaconate Ordination Reflection - July 6, 2021
