Rebuilding

Rebuilding

This past August, a retired Monsignor from the Archdiocese of Newark led the year’s first retreat for the new and returning College Seminarians of Saint Andrew’s Hall. It was a wonderful weekend to grow in fraternity with my brothers and set the stage for the formation year. The retreat’s theme was “Rebuild My Church” – inspired by the miraculous vision of Saint Francis of Assisi. And I have been finding myself returning constantly, not only to the legendary example of St. Francis but also, to the lessons and graces from that weekend.

A young Francis, filled with uncertainty and dwindling hope, after a lackluster career and life of indulgence, came upon the San Damiano church and knelt before the iconic Eastern-style crucifix. In his prayer, Francis asked what the Good Lord wanted of him and what was his purpose in this life. The Lord responded, “Francis, rebuild my Church, for it has fallen into ruin.”

After recounting this scene, the retreat master led us through various meditations and conferences; weaving together accounts of his own ministry, the life of the beggar saint, and many words of wisdom for ministering in the modern age. For the Church is ‘falling into ruin’ in every age. Because we, as its members, are ‘falling into ruin’ in every age.

I remember anxiously rushing around and working to ensure everything for the orientation week, everything for the retreat, and everything for the liturgy would be “perfect.” Yet, I still made mistakes. Perhaps the most grievous one though, was forgetting to entrust it all to Our Lord and to remain, interiorly, at His feet. That is when we fall into ruin. I cannot – we cannot – hope to rebuild the Church, unless our projects, plans, and works are centered upon Jesus and given over to His Will. We are members of Christ’s body, as well, so nothing is worthwhile when separated from the head.

Christ calls in every age, raises up saints in every age, and saves in every age. Monsignor, when preaching upon the miracle of multiplication of the loaves and fish, said something striking, along the lines of, “Nothing is leftover, nothing is wasted by God. So we must give our all to Him; whether it be our past sins, our present struggles, our mistakes, or our virtues and talents.” And I cannot quite explain it, but this sentiment brought a tear to my eye.

Our Lord qualifies those He calls – no matter what uncertainties or battles are ahead. All in His time and in His will. I know I only need but take a faithful step at a time. Laying one brick at a time.